The World of Coincidence

Space Mountain. 

The year is 2012.

It’s cold outside (believe it, or not).

My bank account is empty.

I’ve done zero homework, so far.

A year ago today marks the first day of rehearsals for a University Theatre production that I was cast in last year. Dark Ride by Len Jenkin is a language play written in 1982 and was essentially just a more evolved form of an episode of The Incredible Hulk that aired in 1980.

Language plays use copious amounts of text, blocking dialogue in huge chunks or lengthy sequences of short spurts of speech, to focus more on portraying ideas than establishing characters’ arcs, relationships, and desires.

Coincidentally, the rehearsal period shone brightly in direct contrast to the ideals of a language play.

Looking back, the time we spent in Room 115, the IPL, and the Cellar Theatre, seemed to be nothing but a drawn-out period of change and self-discovery (mostly, against our wills).

It’s always a weird thing to think, “Where was I a year ago?” So, you go to your Facebook Timeline, click back, and laugh at the stupid shit you posted. For example, this double banana. And you say, “How silly I was. I care about more sophisticated things now, like this news article. And I use Instagram #nofilter.”

But, I really have undergone a hell of a whole lot of change since 2/12/12.

All I know about Dark Rides follows:

This SNL Sketch:

Merryville Brothers

And this information:

A Dark Ride is a type of carnival ride that invisibly guides passengers in a small vehicle through different semi-animated scenes that are theatrically lit, creating the desired tone for the overall journey through the narrative of the ride. Riders carve their ways through a dark, predetermined path, giving them a false sense of surprise. Dark Rides are enclosed, keeping the Riders captive with deceitful, choice entertainment – placing in front of them what they desire to see. However, the illumination is only a threat; when lit for maintenance, gears and wires, that were conspicuous with the lights dimmed, are revealed that delete mystique and quantify fantasies. The contraptions are merely repetitive animatronics that act identically for each new passerby.

However, the way that we’ve come to identify a “Dark Ride” is as something that is truly coincidental to the outside eye, but, to us, makes perfect sense in the repeatable nature of the universe – a series of chosen events that we assign meaning to.

For example, before Maggie and I even knew of each others’ existence, we were in New Orleans at the same time for 2007 Mardi Gras with our families. This year, we made our pilgrimage to the Mardi Gras Mecca for Fat Tuesday 2013. Dark Ride Part Two: Our 2013 trip-mates, Spenny & Katie, also have relatives in NOLA.

Example: We take pictures like this:

We da kweanz.

And Spencer found this picture of her mommy & her college friends doing the same Dark Ride thing:

Dey de kweanz, too.

Example: This picture was taken at the beginning of this school year. I’m not sure Phillip and I even acknowledged each other this night other than to say something to the effect of our names both starting with “P”. Now we’re dating.

Phillip & Paige Dark Ride.

 

Example: I was chewing Winter Solstice 5 Gum this time last year LIKE I’M DOING RIGHT NOW.

 

Everything is Dark Ride.

 

It’s like riding It’s a Small World over and over again. Each time you experience new feelings; sometimes you’re terrified of the robotic dolls, sometimes you can’t stop looking at that hot Asian guy in the boat ahead of you, sometimes you’re distracted by that text your mom just sent you, sometimes you’re drunk enough to think it’s a good idea to get out of the boat and sit with the little Dutch children, sometimes you can’t stop thinking about how FUCKING HUNGRY YOU ARE, sometimes you sing along, sometimes you reflect on the racial commentary of the ride, sometimes you try to figure out what the hell is squeaking so loudly, and sometimes you just make out in the boat for three and half minutes.

No matter how you experience the Dark Ride, there’s always a familiar feeling that keeps you grounded in yourself and what you’re doing – a sort of affirmation that there is a pattern to the cosmos.

Some things have stayed the same, for me: I still fucking love cheese. I hang out with the majority of the same people (Dark Riders 4 Lyfe). I’m about to chub rub my way through yet another pair of skinny jeans. I still love kitties. I’m doing another video project that I hope will be something I can be proud of. I still think I’m hilarious and laugh loud unwarranted laughs at terrible puns that I make. I still want to be an NBC Pa(i)ge. My closet is still mostly green. I still pretty much only eat Easy Mac and Totino’s Pizza Rolls. My parents continue to send me weather updates and random “I love you” texts. I’m still afraid I’ll get caught in the cross-fire of a game of Humans v. Zombies. I still value those in my life who continue to support me and provide an opportunity for me to truly care about others. Farts still rule.

Other things are drastically different: I have a new pair of Keds (no holes in the soles, waddup). I talk to myself more often (it’s really absurd). I exercise (?!). I’m thinking about life after graduating college. I spent the summer away from my family. I’m invited to two weddings this year. I finally recognize my sisters as the adults that they are. I have a kickass boyfriend. I value spending time with those I care about more than doing trivial school assignments. I no longer have a gall bladder. My collarbone has mended. I love coming back to my apartment. Snapchat is a thing that I do, always, forever, look at me please I’m funny and want to share my life with you. I cook way less, but still manage to eat arguably better. I feel free-spirited and light-hearted almost one hundred percent of the time. I drink less (mostly the result of the lack of a gall bladder). I have an iPhone. I poop in public substantially more than I ever have in my life (re: gall bladder).

I’m painfully aware of how dumb this whole assigned importance is. It’s a trivial thing and, when I get “DARK RIDE” tattooed on my body on the anniversary of Opening Night, I’ll have to live to one day explain to my children the projected significance of “Dark Ride” and why my Dumb College Friends and I felt the need to permanently mark our bodies with eight tacky letters. However, as hilariously self-important, naive, and nanny-nanny-boo-boo-you’re-not-in-our-club-plus-we’re-practically-a-gang as it may sound, it will commemorate the time in my life that I spent just being a dumb kid. I formed relationships that will impact me for a lifetime, established imperative personal goals in spite of my mistakes, and found solace in cyclical events. There is no need for escapism when you know that the next adventure is just around the corner and you can handle it because you’ve been there before.

Snap Cup

Had to write a “Manifesto” of things that were important to us for Senior Seminar. I didn’t feel like facing the music and elaborating on my things that define my life (which was the whole point of the assignment), so I sort of ducked around it by being “artistic”… Very general ideas, but what’s a “Manifesto” if  you don’t share it, right?

THE PULASKI CREED:

Someday soon,

Stability.

A place to settle,

Put my feet.

A home for humor,

Creativity.

Necessary longevity.

A speedy pace, rhythm predicted.

A pen and sheet, for thoughts depicted.

Importance loaded in an inkwell,

For expression which is intimate, loud.

House always full of laughs and shouts.

Extended family, branching out.

A sweater thread of friends and siblings,

Tight-knit, trusting, growing quickly.

A competent co-pilot to share my life with,

To bring new members to the cockpit.

To be a mother, make a father,

To shape a son, adore a daughter.

Something quantifiable.

Some great thing I can control.

The need to be superior,

To find the thing I can conquer.

Sensing failure, sniff the air –

A hungry hound to find the lair

Of predictable process to avoid a mess;

Excess devotion for simple success.

The search for silent, eternal acclaim.

Pure appreciation for a passion.

A creative child no one can maim,

Born from a mind, a lovely ration.

Puzzles to ponder.

Wit and wonder.

Beauty in film,

A visual thunder.

Rumble the sky with active thoughts.

Pursue a dream that’s meant to be caught.

Organization. Competition.

Lifeblood. Checklists. Benediction.

Simple guidance from within.

To trust oneself again, again.

Value in autonomy.

Independent ability.

Freedom to self-actualize.

To have the space to realize

Fantasies sans definition.

Place a key in the ignition.

Explore new places, drive amok,

Make mistakes, escape a rut.

A legacy of love and laughs.

A balanced life, structured to last.

A supporter, creator, writer, mother,

Traveler, lover, remembered other.

My pieces not to be pulled asunder,

Adjusting, learning from a blunder.

Time to explore, to find this “she”

That lives in the future that I can’t see.

To be anything, what would it be?

Purely, existentially, ironically me.

Oakwood No More

So, I can make one fair judgment about Los Angeles, based on all of the conversations I’ve had with people since I’ve been here:

There must be something pretty special about a place where all people can do is talk about how much they love it.

It may just be the conversations I’ve had with locals and new residents because I’m an out-of-towner, but I feel like every person I’ve spoken with raves about this place.

It’s like, “Hey how are you?” “I’m fine, thanks. Beautiful weather today, right?” “Oh yeah. LA is just so beautiful.” “It’s pretty great.” “I love it here. I feel like LA gets such a bad rap from people who have never been here.” “I’m thinking about moving out here; should I do it?” “I’m such an LA advocate. Yes. Yes, do it.”

Everybody out here loves it! And that’s all I have to say about that.

 

Let’s see the hurt I put on my…

LA To-Do List:

1. Hike up to the Hollywood sign.
2. Find where John Krasinski lives.
3. Stalk John Krasinski (ongoing).
4. See a UCB sketch show.
5. Tour the Universal Lot.
6. Visit the Getty Museum. – Never got around to it. :(
7. Join a hippie drum circle on Venice Beach. – We did go to SummerFest, however. Just as interesting.
8. Find when/where The Mindy Project is shooting. – Following Mindy on Twitter, found out they started shooting at the beginning of last week. And we visited the NBC Universal Music Licensing Department which is ACROSS THE HALL FROM THE WRITERS’ ROOM.
9. Force my way on set. (Read: Take out some PA’s. Take their places.) – I couldn’t make it happen, but I expect all of my friends who are staying out here/are already out here to GET ON IT.
10. Bring the Pulaski Rendition of “Love Shack” to West Coast Karaoke.
11. Have lunch at the Grove. – Brunch? I’ll count it.
12. Go to the oldest bar in downtown LA, Cole’s. – Another time. Maybe when I actually have an expendable income.
13. This one’s a toughie – go out in Hollywood and not pay for a single drink.
14. See a midnight premiere.
15. Talk to a celebrity. But first I need to be able to recognize them… – Didn’t talk to them, but it just figures that my last week here, I see Dax Shepard, Isla Fisher, and Herman Li.
16. Support the local artists and/or homeless people and buy a reasonably priced funny painting of an animal for my bathroom in Athens. – Went to the Flea Market & bought possibly my favorite piece of art ever. Not too tacky though, I kinda struck out there.
17. Check out the Mulholland Drive overlook at night. – Didn’t hop the fence, but beautiful!
18. Tour Nickelodeon Studios on Sunset!! – I drove by it! Someday I’ll be working there though, so it’s all right.
19. See a show at the Hollywood Bowl. – Pondered getting K. Clark/The Fray tickets, but opted out. Watching the Olympic Opening Ceremonies.
20. Buy something from the Venice Flea Market. – Done and done. T-shirts galore. It was actually the Fairfax Flea Market off Melrose though, much better.
21. Look at the night sky from Griffith Observatory. – AWESOME.
22. Go to an ASSSSCAT show at UCB. – GREAT.
23. Have an AWParty!

 

Roland Internship

I received some really great career advice, these last two weeks in particular. I had lunch with my boss, Mark, on Wednesday. His main nugget of advice was to pursue your ambitions fully, and never lose sight of them. If it’s important to live comfortably, find a job that you can do well, which, if you find the right job, will more than likely allow you to support your own dream, making your passion projects and other creative endeavors more meaningful. “It seems unattainable,” but the city really shrinks when you find people you work well with and who benefit you. If being an assistant isn’t compatible with your ego, don’t be afraid to leave a job for a bigger or better thing. Nobody climbs up the same ladder and you can find yourself in a completely new place where you never would have expected you would end up, but it’s never wrong. Do what you need to do to be happy.

Reflecting on my internship, I’ve learned a few new things and gained an understanding of third party advertising in line with a budget. I navigated databases, created folders, and listened to some rad tunes.

But…DAMN. IT’S HARD TO SIT AT A DESK ALL DAY.

Somehow I take no issue with lounging on a couch or in my bed, wearing my pajamas, and illegally streaming television shows on my laptop from when I wake up at noon until I decide to (maybe) shower at 8 PM. But when I’m expected to sit in front of a computer screen for hours at a time, it’s super hard to remain motivated. I finally have come to understand the obsession with never-ending photos on Imgur, silly memes on Tumblr, and browsing through photos of your best friend’s acquaintance’s cousin’s wedding on Facebook. It’s just the worst thing.

And, I’ve gotten pretty good at Scramble with Friends. My new love for WHAT SHOULD WE CALL ME and other similar blogs has brought me to this:

WHEN I GET 1500 POINTS ON SCRAMBLE WITH FRIENDS

I’M JUST LIKE:

 

Speaker Derek Wan

Derek Wan came to talk to us last Tuesday and almost had me convinced that I would love producing for reality TV. Really smart guy. He’s produced several cycles of ANTM, Extreme Home Makeover, and a ton of other stuff all in “unscripted television”. He loves it and says that you make a TON of money doing it, but I just don’t foresee that being my jam. I can’t deal with drama in my real life as it is, and I just can’t see capitalizing on people’s problems and then goading them into conflict would be something that I liked. I like people watching? So maybe? And of course the story producers and other producers do more than set reality stars up for disaster or success (mostly disaster), but that’s all I really took away from it. Derek was a super positive speaker, the most upbeat that we’ve had. He gave us all adorable little coffee mugs that say something about “Dream” on them. If I hadn’t have already packed up all my stuff, I would look it up but, alas… Overall, awesome guy. Really has his shit together and is a super people-lover, but I don’t think “unscripted” is my game.

Never say never, right?

Outside of Yamashiro.

Alumni Night at Yamashiro

That night we also had the UGA Alumni Mixer at a trendy Asian (Trasian) restaurant up on a hill that overlooks all of LA (Yamashiro). It was really beautiful and the food was great. And I actually forced myself to talk to people that I don’t know. I’m super shy and it actually takes a lot for me to go up to a person that I’ve never met before and hold a meaningful conversation with them.

If you’re reading this blog right now, you might be like, “Whaaaa? You seem so outgoing and talkative! And obviously also very attractive and appealing!” Well, while you’re right about two of those things, the other two are incorrect. I’m a milder version of someone whose ego blows up behind a keyboard and a computer screen and suddenly, they have all of the facts and know more than anyone else in the blogosphere. I’m talking to you, Mister I-Post-On-Message-Boards-To-Pick-Fights-With-People-About-Why-John-Krasinski-Isn’t-The-Most-Attractive-Man-In-The-World. You can’t keep me down. “No, that part’s not true. That was a joke-lie,” said Tina Fey.

I usually just sort of weaseled my way into a circle of braver Grady LA-mates talking to an Alum or two. I just sort of smiled at the important people and laughed when it was appropriate. I just have a hard time finding something to talk about other than, “Oh, what do you do? Do you love LA? Yeah, I figured. Everybody does.” But, I did talk to some cool people, and it was really refreshing to see and hear that there are actually a ton of UGA Grads in Los Angeles who are working out here and getting good pay doing something they love. I just have a hard time believing that people from Georgia can actually make it in the world. I figure we’re all just supposed to sit on our porches, eating barbeque and peaches all day until we’re old enough to make moonshine and not get in trouble.

View of Hollywood from Yamashiro.

Roomie Love at Yamashiro.Bangs going rogue.

More Work – Video Shoot

I also ended up being able to help with some cool stuff at work. I got to assist with a photoshoot of a couple of new products, that I’m not really sure I can talk about on the ‘net… (Also, does anyone still use “‘net” anymore? I’m bringin’ it back.) But, that was an interesting shoot because there are so many logistical things that you have to take into account when shooting a subject that is a box. The product had to be lit just right, from the right angle with the right colors, to define the black edges against a black background, while making the product look exciting. The camera also does some weird things to the sizes of the products. So, you had to make the smaller product look larger in comparison to the larger product because we were trying to feature the smaller product. And then there are all the different screens that the product managers want to be shot to show the diversity of the product…which is literally just a box. Cool stuff, actually.

And then, perhaps my missed opportunity to became a rock star groupie, I got to help shoot an interview with Herman Li. Yes, THE Herman Li.

You don’t know who Herman Li is? Dragonforce?? HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW WHO HERMAN LI IS??

I didn’t either. Until my memory was jogged.

Ta Da. My own personal Guitar Hero.

Now, before you ask, no, I did not get to brush his luxurious locks. But, I did get to hold the boom while he just shredded on his guitar. The guy’s fingers are SO FAST. I don’t get it. He could easily operate that orange button.

He was a cool dude. A Hong Konger with a dual citizenship in the UK who lives in the south of France. A nice guy who was really only worried about his bald spot showing on camera. For the record, it’s not even noticeable.

And, funny enough, the guy whose office we shot the interview in has an obsession with Godzilla. Roland is a Japanese company. Godzillas EVERYWHERE. I assume he hides them when the yearly Japanic* runs its course.

*I was informed that when all of the huge execs from Japan come for an assessment of Roland US Corp as an entity and everyone goes into a frenzy of preparing documents and presentations, it is referred to as the “Japanic”.

Mole-Richardson Lighting Workshop

We spent a full day at the Mole-Richardson lighting workshop being talked at by Larry Parker, grandson of the founder, Mole. He was a great, older guy who you could just tell loved his job. He’s designed lights and sells and rents to the BIGGEST producers and studios in Hollywood. He probably has so much money and he chooses to spend his time teaching young people how to operate equipment.

The Bat Light from the first two Nolan Dark Knight movies!

I’m just gonna talk about his teaching method though, just for a sec. We took turns being ridiculed as a learning experience. We were thrown up there with a huge Hollywood light that we’ve never even seen before and told to do stuff to it. So like, “Turn that light on.” And then you just had to sort of figure out how to do it. Like playing “Hot & Cold” all day.

Larry was great though. You can tell that he’s doing exactly what he wants to do, day in, day out. And he loves showing his equipment to people. Just an old guy who’s very proud of what he’s accomplished. I learned all sorts of lingo like, “Audition it” and “unclamp that quacker” and “can we get a courtesy” and “I’m gettin’ hot with my baby”. He urged us to all come back when we’re in town again, and you could tell that he really meant it.

My favorite part of the day though? Meeting Izzy Mankofsky.

He had all of the ingredients for an adorable old man:

-         More than 80 years old

-         Less than 5’2”

-         Velcro shoes

-         Golf cap

-         Sharp as a tack and cracking jokes

-         Well-groomed moustache

-         White eyelashes

 

If you don’t believe me, check him out below. And his resume is unreal.

Izzy Mankofsky, Defender of Right.

Dresser Adventure

That same day, we had a super adventure getting Melanie’s Craig’s List dresser over to her new apartment. We picked it up from a pretty cool couple who was moving out the next day and then discovered the hard way, after arranging and re-arranging everything in the car like it was a Tetris puzzle, that the dresser was too big for the car. Melanie, reluctant to disassemble IKEA furniture, knowing that it would never go back together again the same way, phoned a friend and Candice came with Carolyn and her huge-ass car and jumper cables to save the day (they even brought munchies and lots of emotional support). Oh, did I not mention that Melanie’s car’s battery died while we were listening to music? We had all of the luck in the world.

Olympics

So, we’ve been watching a lot of Olympics. I’m a fan. There’s enough on the internet for me to not have to talk about it. However, it’s never too late to hold the Beer Olympics…

Brookie & Poppy on Santa Monica Pier.

Poppy & Brookie Come to Visit!

On Saturday, I went to pick my family up from the airport! Brookie and Poppy came to visit, so I tried my best to show ‘em around town. On Saturday, we hit up Santa Monica Beach & Pier so they could put their feet in the Pacific. Poppy took home a little shard of the pier in the ball of his foot, so after re-shoeing ourselves, we checked out the point where all of the fishermen (and women) were…and the one guy who was totally just smokin’ a doobie and talking to everybody. Poppy treated us to some AWESOME seafood and then we headed back to the hotel to change and get ready for the UCB ASSSSCAT show.

Pier

The celebrity that night was Patty Schemel, a drummer from the band Hole, who played drums for Crazy Courtney Love for a while. The structure of the ASSSSCAT show has the celebrity monologue for about five minutes and then the cast structures some long-form improv scenes, inspired by the monologue. Needless to say, we heard a lot of Courtney stories about clipping off tampon strings and picking up Sheiks. Great show.

On our way back from the show, we stopped at the Hollywood Bowl overlook off Mulholland Drive, which is closed off at night. Beautiful.

Hollywood Bowl Overlook off Mulholland Drive.

Slower shutter speed.

And then, before dropping them off at their hotel room, I insisted the Poppy & Brookie try an In-N-Out burger. And fries. And a shake. I’m a bad influence.

Athens Night Out in LA

The plan of walking in to my apartment and instantly falling asleep was immediately foiled when the door swung open to reveal a party in Y306. A handful of intoxicated party people urged me to “Suit up! Party time! Last weekend in LA! DO ITTTTT!” And I caved in to the peer pressure.

We went to a bar called Happy Endings and, with the exception of a level of stickiness that is only reserved to bars in Athens, as soon as I walked in, I felt like I was back in my own college town. Douche-y dudes and too-drunk girls littered an upstairs dance floor, that was covered in a few shards of broken glass and about 5-7 straws within any given four square foot area. We even got to drunk-wrangle, or “drangle” if you will, a few of our own. I would’ve probably enjoyed it a lot more had I just gotten on their level, but I was half a bottle of whiskey behind the frontrunner. And besides, I had to wake up early enough the next day to take my family out to…

More Pop & Brooke

The Grove! I’d been wanting to check it out for a while. Once we walked around a little bit though, I realized that the place to be is the Farmer’s Market which is rarely mentioned. That’s where the party’s at! TONS of different kinds of food to eat and plenty of meat/fruits/veggies/bread for sale. Very happening place. We actually settled on a Greek place for brunch which was DELICIOUS.

Deciding we had to walk off our huge feta-infused meal, we hit up the Fairfax Flea Market off Melrose. It was only $2 to get in but, man, once you were in, you had a whole days’ worth of entertainment. I started scouring every booth pretty closely and then realized that the tents just kept goooooooing foreveeeeeeer. I found a few treasures – a cat shirt, a green shirt with names on the back of people that I don’t know at all, a glass bead zipper clipper in the shape of a cat, and the greatest piece of art ever.

Marilyn Monroe Kitty.

I splurged on her a little bit, but it was totally worth it. My piece de resistance in my Athens bathroom for sure.

I was sure that I needed a nap after we had spent so much time walking around in the sun, but Pop convinced me that we should go hang out on Venice Beach for an hour or so. It was Summer Fest that weekend, which doesn’t really mean there will be more crazies than there usually are (we were yelled at by Mr. Animation two days in a row), but there are more spectators which bring out the professional crazies. And of course there are food trucks and absolutely zero toilet paper in the bathrooms.

Poppy with the Venice sign.

Guy selling panhandler-inspired signs.
(Homeless guy selling signs to other homeless guys?)

We spent a long time watching the roller skater-dancers kill it on their old-school skates. I mean, these guys were like break-dancing on ROLLER SKATES. FOUR WHEELS. They had one groupie, a too-tan forty-something rockin’ a homemade, pink and white fur-covered bikini. Quite the experience. We then hit up the skater bowls for some entertainment. We saw some super cool stuff and some super harsh wipeouts. And there was this one kid who could not have been more than seven-years-old. He was adorable. I can almost assure you that his mom was either a) not there or b) his big brother, who took him there, had wandered off in pursuit of some bikini-clad female (probably the too-tan lady with the fur).

Little Dude!

After gorging ourselves on fried pickles and other greasy food, we headed up to the Griffith Observatory for an 8:45 show about the non-threatening Mayan calendar, projected on a dome above us. We got out too late to look through the high-power telescopes, but it all worked out because they were just pointed at the moon anyway. No cool planets or anything.

Outside of Griffith Observatory.

View from Griffith.

Downtown from Griffith Observatory.

Brookie & Poppy overlooking LA.

Pop & Paige overlooking LA.

And then, the next day after work, we had a quick dinner in Venice with Helena (otherwise known as the Ballmeister), I took Brooke & Pop to the airport to send them away, back to the land of deciduous trees and humidity. Their visit was great…and a good trial run for when I may or may not live out here…

NBC Universal

On Tuesday we were invited to NBC Universal to have the head of the Music Placement Department & her staff come speak to us. This lady, Allison, basically created the idea of in-house creative music coordinating. They work with the network and the department, being one of the only departments on television to receive a credit on TV shows. Each person handles different shows like Parks & Rec, Guys with Kids, The Office, Up All Night, and, oh yeah, OLYMPIC PROGRAMMING. Basically, huge deal. Sometimes they only have an hour or two’s notice before they need to clear the rights for a song before the show airs. They really only receive earlier notice if they already know that a song is written into the script, e.g. karaoke. Overall, huge job to have, not for me to have it.

Roomie Bonding – Y306 4 LYFE

Directly after, we had our roomie farewell dinner at Katsu-ya and had a button-popping good $13 meal again – soup, salad, rice, tempura, watercress, green beans, five pieces of sushi, and ICE CREAM. We saw Dax Shepard. And Isla Fisher. It was so weird hearing them talk.

AND DEN AND DEN AND DEN WE WENT TO GET PIERCINGS/TATTS. I got my tragus pierced, which didn’t hurt, but you could hear it happen, which was weird, and now it’s swollen. And then Melanie and Ashley got tatt-tatt-tatted up.

Getting my tragus pierced!

All done!

“I feels like I thought it would.”
“But does it hurt.”
“Not really.”

Inky.

Melanie gettin’ tatted up.

“the best is yet to come”

Squeeze prepping Ashley’s eyebrow.

Ashley with her new eyebrow piercing.

Ashley gettin’ tatted up.

“born believing”

More Advice

On Wednesday evening, I met with my friend Katie’s writer-brother, Ryan. He’s been working as a writers’ assistant for a few years and had some really encouraging advice to give about working your way up into the writer’s room. Mainly what I got from my conversation with Ryan was that there is no one ladder to climb to get to where you want to be; it’s sort of a sometimes-lateral-skip-a-step-zig-zag-who-you-know structure-thing. Definitely echoes what I’ve been hearing this whole trip, but good to talk with someone who isn’t afraid to rely on his creative ability to pay the bills. I’m super Type A and insecure enough to second guess relying on anything non-concrete to get me anywhere. Yes, you have to cover a few desks, and order about a hundred salads with extra carrot shreds, but ultimately, if you really do have the ability, you’re diligent and dedicated, and ultimately, you believe in yourself, it is possible to get to where you want to be.  You also have to avoid run-on sentences or something like that which I’m totally good at and I really, love, using, commas.

So, we talked about that, about how LA’s a great place to live, how Katie was not only a cheerleader, which I knew, but she was also Miss Warner Robbins HS (World Peace), and then about how Trampoline Dodgeball is a real thing that grown-ups do. He definitely got some solid Big Bro points for taking Little Sister’s friend out for drinks and dinner.

HBO Films - Game Change

I could have sworn that Brooke gave me Strep Throat, but a quick trip to the MinuteClinic resulted in a negative Strep Test. I just got a pat on the back and a well-wish. Here’s hoping that my germs will stay with me and not decide to vacation in a foreign blood stream.

Thursday brought us to HBO Films where they put this whole informational thing together for us. We screened their movie Game Change that had come out in April, based on the book about the 2008 election. Julianne Moore was a superb Palin and I can only hope that most of that movie was dramatized. They kept stating that Palin’s foreign policy was terrible, so there was a scene when they brought two specialty guys in to teach her some stuff.

CUT TO:

GUY points at a map.

GUY:

This is Germany. They were aligned with Axis Powers in World War I.

SECOND GUY:

Now, in the U.S. at that time…

PALIN scribbles furiously on a notecard.

SECOND GUY:

Would you like to take a break, Ms. Palin?

PALIN:

No, this is great. Let’s keep going.

 

I mean just like…how do you not know that stuff? Even if you didn’t learn it in school, surely helping your kids study for fifth grade tests would have re-taught you, right?

Anyway, they fed us a great lunch and then answered questions for ninety minutes. They talked a lot about the making of the movie and how HBO operates. We spent the rest of the time speaking to each of their individual career paths, all different. But they all seem to think that HBO is their end point, because it’s the best of both worlds – film on a network. You get the fun ratings stuff of TV, versus the stressfulness of box office sales, and close-to-guaranteed distribution, while holding on to the creative processes of making films that spark discussion. They even said that their above-the-line workers and actors get paid significantly less, but they tend to like to take a break from big-budget studio stuff to work on something they’re passionate about that could diversify their careers. I learned a lot about how they operate, but the two solid pieces of advice that I walked away with from HBO was 1) get a job there. That place was cushy as fuh, and 2) Seek mentors. They will be your lifeblood in this business and can show you how to live your life outside of work. A lot of the women in the office were pregnant/on maternity leave, and that’s a huge thing for me. I am definitely gonna want kids and, depending on where I end up, a career. It’s important to know that there are women out there with great jobs who are able to balance everything.

Farewell, Grady LA

We had our farewell dinner at the Pizza Pit off Lankershim. As it turned out, our reservation got screwed up and we had to sit at two separate tables. Of course, we landed right back in our two groups. I’m sad that I didn’t get to know a lot of the people on the trip better, but twenty people is a lot of people to coordinate in a city like Los Angeles. Oh well. For those of us that’ll be back in Athens this fall, I plan on getting together for at least a reunion or two.

On another note, I totally gorged myself on pizza. Why did I eat so much? Was I hungry? No. It was just free.*

*Not really free, just Grady LA money that we already forked over.

It was sad saying goodbye to everybody, but I know these are all the people who I’ll be working with for someday, so it’s not the last time.

Driving Back

Tonight I pick my Mommy up from the airport and we’re Road Tripping – Mother-Daughter Style to take my car back to the ATL! I’m heading straight back to Athens to start rehearsals for a three-person play that goes up, oh just mid-way through the FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL. I might die, but it’s gonna be great. Don’t miss it – Pizza Man. Tuesday, August 14^th and Wednesday, August 15^th at 8 PM in the Arena Theatre, UGA Fine Arts Building. Fi’ dolla’.

In Conclusion…

Well, this summer has been an adventure. My trial run for Los Angeles is done, and I really enjoyed it. When I’m tossing my cap next May, I’ll have a big decision to make, and it might bring me right back here.

And I never plan on killing this many brain cells in a single summer ever again.

…

Maybe.

 

P.S. I decided on August 1^st that I’m going to stop biting my nails. For real this time. I’m a grown-ass woman and I should not have my gaddam fingers in my mouth. Hoorah.

Four Observations…

1. The Improv rules “Yes, and…” and “Choose to Know” do NOT apply in real life.

Example:

“Where’s the hospital?”

“Oh, just down two blocks, take a right, and it’ll be on your left.”

It’s really four streets over, six blocks down, and on the right.

Example:

“Hey, try some crystal meth.”

“Yes, and I’ll also strip down and see how many slices of piping hot pizza it takes to cover my whole body.”

Result: Blisters, hallucinations, and ruined pizza.

Example:

“Paige, do you know where the job folder for the Guitar Player ad is?”

“Yes – it’s on the table next to the printer and I would like to get paid for my internship now.”

The job folder is not created and result: fired for an unpaid internship.

2. I work with five versions of my father. 40-something year old men who love computers, think they’re super hip, and make bad jokes.

Example:

“Dude, you gotta, like, tell Siri to make you a sandwich.”

“No you.”

Literally things my father would say. The only thing that’s missing is one of them saying they’re gonna go camping and “fart a stire”.

3. I’m like a German when it comes to Nouns. I like to capitalize Everything.

Example:

“Would You like to go to The Movies to see that New Release, Bridesmaids 2?”

“Uh, duh! Can we also eat at That Restaurant, The Place Where I Threw Up From Food Poisoning That One Time?”

4. The other day, when we were driving down Highland and saw two seemingly homeless people MAKING OUT.

AT A BUS STOP.

Something I’d never thought about.

Melanie then took it to the next step, “What do they do now?”

What DO they do now??! Where do they go??!

 

That is all.

I hope your brains were hungry because THAT is some major food for thought.

 

This post was brought to you by:

An empty stomach and a glass of wine.

The Smog Theory

So here I sit, one bad haircut and a few sunburns later, with two weeks left in Los Angeles. Just five more days at my internship and one more weekend to check out the town. Let’s check the progress on my list, shall we?

LA To-Do List:

1. Hike up to the Hollywood sign. – Pics below!
2. Find where John Krasinski lives.
3. Stalk John Krasinski (ongoing).
4. See a UCB sketch show.
5. Tour the Universal Lot. – And had a Tramtastic Day!
6. Visit the Getty Museum.
7. Join a hippie drum circle on Venice Beach.
8. Find when/where The Mindy Project is shooting.
9. Force my way on set. (Read: Take out some PA’s. Take their places.)
10. Bring the Pulaski Rendition of “Love Shack” to West Coast Karaoke.
11. Have lunch at the Grove.
12. Go to the oldest bar in downtown LA, Cole’s.
13. This one’s a toughie – go out in Hollywood and not pay for a single drink. – It is possible! Here Bar! Yeah baby!
14. See a midnight premiere. – Dark Knight!
15. Talk to a celebrity. But first I need to be able to recognize them…
16. Support the local artists and/or homeless people and buy a reasonably priced funny painting of an animal for my bathroom in Athens.
17. Check out the Mulholland Drive overlook at night.
18. Tour Nickelodeon Studios on Sunset!!
19. See a show at the Hollywood Bowl.
20. Buy something from the Venice Flea Market.
21. Look at the night sky from Griffith Observatory.
22. Go to an ASSSSCAT show at UCB.
23. Have an AWParty! – We’re grown-ups now. Isn’t that weird?

(If you don’t read anything else, make sure you hit up the starred section, as I can assure an embarrassing story.)

Outdoor Screenings

I’ve been to two outdoor screenings. Very LA. On Saturday the 7^th, we watched Dazed and Confused on the lawn of the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising and this past weekend, we went to a viewing of the original Karate Kid outside of the Academy in Hollywood. The Oscar’s hosts an outdoor summer series which not only includes the screenings of popular movies, but a little chat with the stars and important players from the movie. Pretty sweet.

Dazed & Confused

The Academy

The Oscars Outdoors

In other news, now that I’ve figured out how to use it, I’m addicted to Instagram. Follow me @paigeski7! *peace sign*

Two things I can assure you about outdoor screenings in LA are 1) you will be freezing and mysteriously wet no matter how many layers of clothing you wear or blankets you lay on and 2) someone will smoke weed and inevitably, every single person in the audience will whiff  the air and sigh.

California smells like pot and car exhaust. And I swear, the LA smog is actually caused by marijuana. You can quote me on that theory because when some group of scientists discovers that to be the truth some time down the road, you can point them to this post and say, “Paige knew. She birthed the ‘Too Many People Went Green’ Theory. Also, this blog thing – so dumb, am I right?”

Okay, so I need a better name than that. That was a sad, sad pun on the “Going Green” initiative and the fact that California is so hell-bent on recycling that they have taken it upon themselves to separate everyone’s recyclables from their trash with government hands instead of trusting people to sort their own trash from the beginning.

Something that’s legal in California and probably shouldn’t be is the fact that motorcyclists are allowed to drive between car lanes on the highway. Yeah, you can speed through traffic a little quicker, but HOLY F*CK, DO YOU WANT TO DIE?? These people are nuts.

Another part of outdoor screenings? Food Trucks. Holy Food Trucks, Batman.

FOOD TRUCK LAND

In our apartment, we have deemed a groundbreaking new term.

“Fatgirling” is the word used to describe the partaking in indulgence of either sweet or delicious, fattening food. Foods may include ice cream, French fries with any or no toppings, Pop-Tarts, anything with bacon and/or barbeque sauce, and absolutely everything that spends part of its life in a Food Truck.

Use in a sentence: These are my favorite types of foods and I have partaken in consumption of all of them over the two weeks that have passed since I last updated. It all started with a spur-of-the-moment visit to Chick-Fil-A for scrumptious shakes and the fatgirling hasn’t stopped.

Alternate definition: the overconsumption of foods that would otherwise be good for you.

Use in a sentence: Melanie and I gorged ourselves with a metric shit load  of delicious Indian food on Saturday. We fatgirled so hard, that we had to take a two-hour nap to properly digest.

More Guest Speakers

Other real things that have happened – we’ve also had a few more speakers.

Producer/UPM Billy Badalato, was by far the most upbeat, positive (perhaps too optimistic) speaker that we’ve had. Surprisingly, his advice was to start out in the Rebate States (Georgia, in our case) and then make the LA move only when we can start out with a legitimate job. He was super into his presentation, even though he read directly off the slides. It was pretty adorable – he even had all of his favorite inspirational quotes on slides like, “‘Good enough’ isn’t,” and “How do you cut down a forest? One tree at a time.” One of my favorite analogies that he gave was that the UPM is “the Border Collie of film people”, making sure that everyone is secure & happy while looking to the future to make sure everything is planned and ready to roll. I could tell this guy really loved teaching, so it was good to talk to someone who isn’t so jaded by the business.

Craig Phillips, a UGA Grad, is one of the co-creators of SunnyBoy Entertainment. They do a lot of commissioned short-form projects, but have been working on animation projects of their own creative. Craig was of particular inspiration to me because he just sort of started this company doing what he loved to do with a couple of his best buddies from school. His main advice was to work with people that you like and respect, because, this being such a collaborative business, or “collective art”, it’s so important to be friends with your co-workers. Craig also emphasized the importance of having a vision and a voice. It’s refreshing to see that holding his ground for the type of work that he wants to do has not hurt him but has instead steered the right sort of people to their company. “Stick to your vision and you’ll become known for it and you’ll be rewarded when the right opportunity comes around.”

And then Ernesto Foronda, Jenn’s roommate from Grad School, came to talk to us about being a Screener for Sundance and about being an Indie Filmmaker. We saw the movie that he co-directed, Sunset Stories, at the Out Festival two Saturdays ago. Seeing the movie really gave me faith that independent filmmaking doesn’t have to be completely stressful – it can be fun and fulfilling and, perhaps most importantly, it can totally be done! If you want recognition, you just have to get out there and make your visions come to life. I mean, I don’t come from a background familiar with transgenders and gay punk bands like they do, but I could really connect with their visual imagery – I like pretty lights, and they had a lot of those. I’m also personally a sucker for a shallow depth of field. I only had a few problems with bumps in the story, but what I took away was that  you can just go out and do it!

Universal Studios

On Sunday the 8^th, WE WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS!! Super fun. I love theme parks. Although Universal is lacking in thrill rides, the characters make up for it. We went right when the park opened so we could all take the Back Lot Tour as a group right away and then disperse from there.

We weren’t ready…
P.S. THE BAD HAIRCUT.

Jimmy being adorable on our tram’s TV screens.

The flood from Big Fat Liar!

Whoville

The Bates Motel from Psycho

Pam’s wedding dress & a bridesmaid dress from The Office!!!!

My hubby, J. Fal, hosted the tour and I did snap a pic with him before heading off for a day of fun at the park.

Oh you know, just me and my hubby.

Once we headed down the three escalators, we were where the three real rides in the park were. We had the right idea in taking the Single Riders Line for the Transformers 3D ride because at 9 AM there was a 45-minute wait. It was awesome – totally believable 3D – but not 45 minutes awesome. We ended up riding The Mummy – the ONLY roller coaster in the park – about five times that day. We had Veteran Amusement Parker Danny with us, so the ante was upped for striking a good-enough pose for the camera. The first time, I looked terrified in the picture. I love rides, but I’m a screamer. The whole time, every time I ride. Every time after that, we were either disapproving or Girl Power-ing or, if you’re Danny, putting your shirt up over your face. We got soaked on the Jurassic Park ride and waited forever for The Simpsons Ride, which didn’t exactly pay off – just another simulator. The Terminator 3D and Shrek 3D things weren’t that awesome either. The Special FX Show was pretty sweet, but I do wish that I could have seen the Animal Actors show – I always love them! Of course, my absolute FAVORITE part of the whole day becoming…A TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE. THANK YOU FACE PAINT. THANK YOU FOR JUDGING ME, EVERYONE ELSE IN THE PARK. YOU WISH YOU WERE EIGHT YEARS OLD LIKE ME.

I was so happy.

I’m Mikey. Dream come true.

Our group tickets actually got us in one other day during the week for FREE, so of course we went back the following Thursday after a huge-ass dinner at Buca di Beppo at Universal CityWalk.

Santa Anita Raceway

On Tuesday the 10^th, Ashley invited me to go have breakfast with her mom’s friend at the Santa Anita Raceway. It’s the off season, but the horses were out for their morning exercise. The lady we had breakfast with gave us a tour of the whole place, and I was transported directly back to the thirties. The whole style of this HUGE place was art deco and so extravagant. Now, there’s only a difference of five dollars ($15 and $20) between General Club Seating and the fancy Club area (forget the name). But there’s all of this beautiful carved wood paneling, forest green carpets, gold palm tree decorations, and bold wallpaper patterns. Just gorgeous. I so appreciated the tour and I can’t wait til I’m rich and can get drunk there and fall asleep on the couches in the Ladies’ Room before the race even starts.

Cash & Bet

Beautiful mountains in the background.

They have the names of winning horses etched around the rim of the fountain. Seabiscuit was the only one I knew.

Sullivan & Sons

There were only four of us who went to the taping of Sullivan & Son, produced by Vince Vaughan. I actually really enjoyed this sitcom and we were there for the taping of the finale, which was pretty cool. The audience warmer-upper was MUCH better than the guy we had last time, although still pushed the envelope on one too many things. Luckily for him, the couple that had been together for 7 years but still weren’t engaged that he tried to have married on the spot by Pastor Larry from the audience took the gag in stride and the guy proposed to her to “keep travelling with me”, to which she said yes. (Oh yeah, and they were from New Zealand, cool mo’ fo’s…)

The humor of the show is a little strange – a mixture of weed/beer/bar humor and then like, a  LOT of Korean humor. And it’s actually a pretty good mix. I don’t think they’ll get picked up for more than two seasons, but they’ve made it this far.

Oh yeah, and the special guest star in the finale was Kerri Kenney. What’s that you say? You don’t know who she is? Uh, she only played Deputy Trudy Wiegel on Reno 911!. I. Love. Her. She made the show for me.

Even though the taping took SEVEN HOURS, we at least rewarded with a $25 Applebee’s Gift Card as a sort of peace offering from the Hype Guy for making Danny choose between Angelique, Ashley, and me for a date. That really must just be the worst job ever, making people laugh uncomfortably for seven hours. Sheesh.

Paley Center

Two Thursdays ago, we checked out the Paley Center, which is ultimately a library/archive for a TON of shows and movies. However, they also advertise their museum, which we went to go see. And…it’s less than impressive. They had some cool stuff – a lot of stuff from Friends – but I guess, after going on a bunch of studio tours, it was eh. I guess it didn’t help that a ton of people had stayed up the night before writing pages of their script and were super tired.

Old lunchboxes from TV Shows & Movies

These Bugs…es are from a fashion event – each one was dressed by a different designer.

Original Wile E. Coyote cel!!

Original Scooby-Doo cel!!

Tiny Toons!!

They were my fav from Animaniacs!

Pinky & The Brain!

One of my favorite things in the museum – a fan letter to Tweety.

Original Wonder Woman costume

True Blood couch

REAL Daisy Dukes!

Michelle Tanner’s costume from Full House!

Wile, just chillin’.

Participant Media

We also had some connects at Participant Media, so they gave us a little tour of their building and gave us some advice about career paths. I wasn’t taking notes, so I didn’t come away with anything concrete, but what I gathered from the two execs who talked to us is that, everyone seems to lust after the Studio System. When you are disillusioned, you tend to fall back into a more stable, relaxed job that may be exactly what you always wanted to do, yet you never knew that job existed. No single person forges their path the exact same way, and it’s never over.

***************************************************************************

Here Bar: Meet Vodka Paige

Now, on Friday night – FRIDAY THE 13^TH MIND YOU, we went out to a gay bar, called Here Bar, for Rebekah’s birthday in Hollywood.

Aaaaaaaaand this is where we meet my friend, Vodka Paige.

Funny, this is also how I remember the night.
You know where this is going.

Now, Vodka Paige thinks it’s a good idea to pre-game so she doesn’t have to pay for drinks when she goes out that night. Vodka Paige thought it would be a superb time to polish off that damned half-bottle of awful, cherry-flavored Skyy left over from the 4^th of July. (It was on sale, okay? I thought if I mixed it with Coke, it would taste like Cherry Coke, alright? IT DIDN’T.)

Vodka Paige did, in fact, finish that Skyy in less than an hour before we took a cab to officially start the party.

Hydrated Paige remembers getting ready and then certain things about the night, like having my pepper spray taken by the Bouncer upon entry and Vodka Paige making the Bouncer pinky-promise that he would not let me forget to get it before I left. Hydrated Paige then remembers seeing some people that she knows and sort of dancing a little bit…and then getting her pepper spray back from her good friend, the Bouncer, who remembered to give it back before she could even ask. Vodka Paige then gave Boyfriend Bouncer a hug and remembers the ride home. Dehydrated Paige then woke up the next morning, not exactly remembering how she got in bed, but with a ton of random bruises on her arms, a sore neck and hips, and really parched lips.

Stay away from alcohol, kids.

Hydrated Paige’s roommates have since filled her in on Vodka Paige’s antics from that night. Apparently, Vodka Paige demonstrated (multiple times) the difference between the male and female Dougie, unrequested. She also decided that she was gonna dance her little heart out, not even sure of who was behind her and not really caring. Turns out, Vodka Paige started out dancing with someone she knew and then suddenly, booty-dancing so hard on some random dude who kept calling her “Atlanta”. She had a few more drinks at the bar that she certainly didn’t buy (score) and she definitely made friends with a ton of people that Hydrated Paige wouldn’t have talked to otherwise. Oh yeah, and Hydrated Paige finally figured out why Vodka Paige was so wet at the end of the night – the Truck Stop Dancers (read: strippers) – did a Coyote Ugly performance of “Pour Some Sugar On Me” right at closing time.

So, needless to say, Hydrated Paige is a little more than very much embarrassed by all of this, but hey – I had fun…or so I heard.

IndieCon

The next day, I counted on about three glasses of water, eggs, and toast to help me out. And then, we were off to an Independent Film Financing and Distribution Seminar. I was learning a lot, but had to take a mini-break to become a little better-acquainted with my best friends, The Bathroom Floor and Porcelain Pail. After that, I could direct my whole attention to really hearing what they had to say.

The financing advice mainly had to do with the projection and selling of your passion for the project and not so much overloading the execs with details and probability of success because making promises you can’t keep can never lead to anything good. But, you have to trust that it’ll all work out if you have a good project because people who finance movies genuinely like movies. The people on the panel (Palak Patel, Braxton Pope, and Alan Bailey) also supported kickstarters, not only for the money, but for building an engaged audience from very early stages who will start the hype for you on social media sites because of the hipster mentality of “liking it before it was cool”. On the distribution side of things, they really sang the praises of “independent television content” – another name for stuff that gets a lot of play online – Hulu, Netflix, and any other sort of streaming. They (Shaun Hill, Chris Charalambous, and Keith Knee) also talked about the Pros & Cons of distributing to Wal-Mart and Target who work on commission. This can ultimately screw over the film companies because the price to keep the items on the shelf compared with the items actually sold could come out in the retailers’ favor. The last bit of advice that stuck out for me was their push to do your research and sell a genre.

More UCB

After the entirely-too-long seminar (three hours of people talking is 2 ½ too long), we headed over to hang out at Peaches. We then headed out to check out Sunset Stories and then RUSHED over to UCB’s Sketch Cram. I still do not know how we made it to UCBTLA by midnight, but we did and I’m so glad! My cousin, Kyle started pitching sketch ideas with about seven other writers at 8 or 9 in the morning. The directors of the day made the writers write their two worst ideas, the actors showed up at noon, and by midnight, a SKETCH SHOW WAS BORN! Very funny stuff.

Super proud of Kyle in general. We caught another Maude Night/New Money performance last Wednesday and overall, the sets were much better! I correctly guessed Kyle’s sketch (again) and, I may be biased, but it was my fave.

Hike to the Hollywood Sign

Last Sunday, we went to another one of Rosie’s delicious brunches at the North Clubhouse to partake in AWESOME jalapeno-cheese and pizza bagels. Just the fuel we needed to HIKE TO THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN!!

Let me just say, sometimes I can trick myself into thinking I’m an athletically adept person but there was no kidding when I thought I was actually going to die as I climbed that first incline.

This isn’t a joke. I actually thought I was going to die.

No, like, for real.

I was wheezing so bad, I thought I was going to at least pass out.

YES, OKAY I GET IT. I SHOULD WORK OUT.

But, as evidenced by this sign that some angel made, I MADE IT.

The view from the top was awesome. Once we cooled down, I was able to enjoy the sights and realize how sunburned I’d become.

Leaving space for Melanie.

Super sunburn on my virgin skin that hides beneath my bracelets.

After a much-needed shower, we needed to re-fuel, obviously. So, we made it up to our bodies by getting a $13 sushi dinner. $13 you say? Way too expensive! WRONG. For $13 we got soup, a salad, tempura veggies, five big pieces of sushi, watercress, green beans, a huge bowl of rice, AND ICE CREAM. Oh, and we saw Johnny Knoxville there. So, that’s no big deal.

That night Eddie Mac also graced our presence and filled us in on all of his San Fran escapades that made me feel a little bit better about My Sloppy Night Out.

Have you seen Chelsea Lately?

Last Tuesday, we went to a taping of Chelsea Lately and just as snarky and seemingly disinterested as I would only expect from her. The taping itself was quick and painless and the hype guy was COMPLETELY BEARABLE, even – dare I say – likeable! I almost forgot that they had us wait outside in the sun for three hours! And we met Chuy! Such a cool experience – we got to talk with writers Jen Kirkman and Chris Franjola. They both have roots in stand up and pretty much all the writing they need to do every day is to write a monologue and round-table jokes for Chelsea. Sounds pretty fun the way they do it, actually. Just crack jokes around a table and see what makes Chelsea laugh? Definitely easier said than done.

Dimple’s

And then! My favorite night out in LA! Although it was technically in Burbank, I HAD SO MUCH FUN!! We finally checked out the “Oldest Karaoke Bar”, Dimple’s, for Fraser’s TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY!!

We were met by two old dudes checking IDs at the front and were a little skeptical about the whole dynamic of this place but, upon seeing the giant video screen at the back of the place showing instant replays of the performances, we knew the was gonna be a good night. Even the question of, “Where are we gonna sit?” was immediately answered when some drunk, blonde chick yelled at me, “How old are you?”

“I’m 21! Cross my heart!”

“You look 12!”

“Thanks? It’s somebody’s 21^st tonight, though! You guys should buy him a drink!”

So, in hops the dude trying to get laid by the drunk, blonde chick, “Here, come sit right here! ‘S’all on my tab! Whatever you want! All on my tab!”

“Really?”

“Put it all on there! Drinks on me! We’re celebrating her tonight! She was on the Young and the Restless. Do you guys recognize her?”

“…………Yeah!!”

“Woo!!”

I’m not sure if this guy got his wish, but we sure got a TON of free drinks and shots. I’m still not even sure what’s in a Buttery Nipple, but it was twice as delicious because it was FREE, DAMMIT.

Okay, so the karaoke. We’ve been wanting to hit this place up so hard because they give you hats, jackets, wigs, scarves, and props galore to choose from! Not to mention they have FOUR mics, take and print pictures of your group for FREE, and they give you a FREE DVD of your performance!! And not only that, but for staying ‘til the end, we got a DVD of the. Whole. Night. Every. Single. Performance. It’s beautiful.

Fraser’s Birthday!

Oh yeah, and they gave our whole party free champagne for Fraser’s birthday.

Ash & I singing the “finale” with all of the other “Pussycats” – “So What” by P!nk!

The fun we had – singing “Wannabe”, “Kiss Me”, “So What”, etc. etc. etc. – was well worth being called “pussycats” and being inappropriately touched by the two old dudes who own the place. Thanks for the DVDs, guys!

Batman

Ah, The Dark Knight Rises. I truly wish I could gush like everybody else…but…and I saved this for later in the post on purpose…I FELL ASLEEP. I FELL ASLEEP, OKAY? I saw the first hour and it was great! Really! I just…it got really late. And I was super cold. And and and I was really sleep-deprived. I just…I’M SORRY. I’LL GO SEE IT AGAIN.

AWPness

But, bringing it back up again! WE HAD AN AWPARTY: LA EDITION!!

It was so good seeing Amber, Stacia, Damien, Clark, and meeting Eddie! We just kept talking about how weird it was that we’ve all moved on from the thing that brought us back together and here we are, grown up and sippin’ on some brewskis, reminiscing about the olden golden days and discussing unemployment. Strange stuff, I tell ya. But so much fun!!! It’s always good to have a support system and even better to catch up with old friends, knowing that so many things have changed and yet we’re still able to connect and have a good time. Spent the night with Superstars, I tell ya, SUPERSTARS!

Everybody’s Gone Surfin’

Saturday brought a whole new adventure – Ash & Mel went SURFING!! I made sure that I was awake and ready to head out at 7 AM because I did not want to miss my gal pals rockin’ the waves. They looked so badass. They’re currently sore as fuh, but I did get some sweet pics so it was SO WORTH IT.

Ashley modeling her wet suit.

Probably my favorite picture of Melanie ever.

Ashley’s standing! I missed every other time!

Should have recorded this – too funny.

Teen Choice Awards

And then yesterday, we checked out the Teen Choice Awards!

Me & Angelique

I was all down for a night of screaming and looking glamorous, but we took one look at the bar when we stepped inside the ampitheatre and knew how we were gonna make it through.

How Melanie made it.

TCA Drinking Game: Drink every time you feel too old to be here and every time you don’t recognize a celebrity. Had I purchased enough liquid, I would have been shmammered in a matter of twenty minutes. There was a LOT of screaming, but it was super fun! A cool experience to see how those live events work. And, let’s be honest here, yes – the Biebs had a great performance, but NO DOUBT ROCKED THE SHIT OUT OF THAT STAGE. Holy cow. That was awesome.

No Doubt!

No Doubt!

The Fam’s coming this weekend! Here’s to knocking out the rest of my To-Do List!!

#soakupthesun #packonthepounds #livethelife #gradyla2012

I bet my 4^th of July was more American Amurrican than yours.

AMURRICA. Copulating bears, Bud Light, and Coca-Cola.

1. My outfit consisted of jean shorts (or jorts, if you will), a cut-up oversized t-shirt that says something rude with a completely inappropriate graphic to accompany the made-up word, a red/white/blue bathing suit that I wore as underwear even though I was never near a body of water, temporary tattoos and blue/red war paint, white Keds, and a fanny pack. Yes, you read that correctly; a fanny pack.

America was founded on tacky clothing. CHECK.

2. I drank more Bud Light than I have in my life (which, for the record, was none).

America was founded on overconsumption and cheap beer. CHECK.

3. Our smorgasbord consisted of hot dogs, frozen hamburgers, store-bought potato salad, M&M cookies and cake cookies, Lays potato chips, jalapeño queso dip (yes, that’s American), etc. etc. etc. …and I ate all of it.

America was founded on preservatives and plastic. CHECK.

4. I played Beer Pong, Circle of Death, and shot-gunned a beer (or tried to) all for the first time…within about two hours’ time.

America was founded on trying new things and competitiveness. CHECK.

5. A rule was made in our apartment that you had to say the Pledge of Allegiance before taking a red/white/blue Jell-O shot. The consequence? Chug a beer.

America was founded on legislated patriotism. CHECK.

Patriotic faces.

6. No designated drivers = LA Metro. No designated navigators = lost in LA.

America was founded on denying responsibility, confusing maps, and public transportation. CHECK.

7. I peed in the bathroom of a hospital.

America was founded on small irresponsible bladders and everywhere else being closed on federal holidays. CHECK.

8. I went to a Dodgers Game!! …And I woke up for the fireworks.

America was founded on its greatest past time – sleeping in public places. CHECK.

You can tell I’ve had a rough day this far. BASEBALL.

9. I found an angry note underneath my windshield wiper when I got home (see below – little ones, avert your eyes). Clearly, someone’s intelligent and apparently, it isn’t me.

Sometimes I deserve notes like this. This was not one of those times.

America was founded on unwarranted passive aggression and articulate insults. CHECK.

10. I fell asleep on the floor in my own living room…forcing my guests to show themselves out.

America was founded on, “IT’S MY HOUSE, DAMMIT AND I’LL SLEEP WHERE I WANT TO!!”

God Bless America.

Right. So, I may be a little bit confused about what America was founded on, but the fact still stands that I had a kickass Independence Day in Good Ol’ LA.

Okay, so a little update on

My LA To-Do List:

1. Hike up to the Hollywood sign.
2. Find where John Krasinski lives.
3. Stalk John Krasinski (ongoing). - So, I actually Google searched “John Krasinski house” just to see what popped up, and an aerial view of the house he was selling in LA about a year ago popped up and I felt wayyy too creepy to even be funny anymore, so I just crossed this off the list…I don’t need any rumors to surface about some dismembered hand found in the mailbox with a wedding ring on it being mine…
4. See a UCB sketch show.
5. Tour the Universal Lot. – Happening Sunday!!
6. Visit the Getty Museum.
7. Join a hippie drum circle on Venice Beach.
8. Find when/where The Mindy Project is shooting.
9. Force my way on set. (Read: Take out some PA’s. Take their places.)
10. Bring the Pulaski Rendition of “Love Shack” to West Coast Karaoke.
11. Have lunch at the Grove.
12. Go to the oldest bar in downtown LA, Cole’s.
13. This one’s a toughie – go out in Hollywood and not pay for a single drink.
14. See a midnight premiere. – I bought my ticket for Batman!
15. Talk to a celebrity. But first I need to be able to recognize them…
16. Support the local artists and/or homeless people and buy a reasonably priced funny painting of an animal for my bathroom in Athens.
17. Check out the Mulholland Drive overlook at night.
18. Tour Nickelodeon Studios on Sunset!!
19. See a show at the Hollywood Bowl.
20. Buy something from the Venice Flea Market.
21. Look at the night sky from Griffith Observatory.
22. Go to an ASSSSCAT show at UCB.
23. Have an AWParty!

I keep adding to this and not crossing things out… But it’s okay! I’ve put it all on a calendar, so I’m going to really start knocking stuff out. Hopefully.

We’ve been to a few studios since I last updated.

Warner Brothers Lot

Merlotte’s from True Blood!!

SUPER cool stuff. Like most lots, they had a New York Street, Chicago Street, and Middle America Square/Street.

New York Street – closed off for an Arby’s commercial shoot.

We saw a TON of stuff from Pretty Little Liars, which I hadn’t watched until after we visited the lot. It was cool to see the sets that we had just been on but…I will not be an avid watcher. Or a watcher at all. Probably an avid avoider.

A lot of the sets/houses Pretty Little Liars uses were actually part of Stars Hollow from Gilmore Girls. The houses all have 2-3 fronts so one character could live on one side of the house while a completely different family can live on the other side of the house. Same house, different set dec. (I wish I could give a specific example so I could blow minds, but I haven’t watched either of these shows; therefore, slanty face.)

I’m pretty sure this house was also used in Stars Hollow – Gilmore Girls.

Gobos/filters/gels that were stored behind the Pacific Coast street strip facades.

Pretty Little Liars chairs.

Pretty Little Golf Cart

Makeup mirrors in the storage space.

Storage area behind the strip.

Of course there was a ridiculous amount of information thrown at us about what each set has been used for and, when we passed by other Tour Trams, we heard the same dry jokes being used.

Our broken down tram.

But, probably the coolest parts of the tour were:

1. Going on the Big Bang Theory set.
2. The museum.
3. The Friends set.

The museum had wicked awesome stuff – some Friends costumes, Buddy the Elf’s costume, the Dream Machine from Inception, the latest Batman costume, The Descendants costumes, a set from The Corpse Bride, and then a whole FLOOR dedicated to Harry Potter props and costumes. They had the Sorting Hat, Hermione’s petrified body from Chamber, an Aragog puppet, the Troll costume from Sorcerer’s Stone, one of Mrs. Weasley’s costumes, Harry’s first Quidditch costume, the Azkaban costumes for Ron/Harry/Hermione, some of the Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes products, an Umbridge ordinance from Order, and (probably my fave) Tom Riddle’s stabbed diary.

Needless to say, I spent about five minutes downstairs and then the rest of my time totally geeking out over all the Harry Potter stuff. I’m pretty sure I missed a ton of stuff downstairs.

(We weren’t allowed to take pictures of the stuff in the museum, but they did have some stuff displayed in the Studio Store.)

Polyjuice Potion directions.

Howler!!

Umbridge Ordinance

Quirrell & others!

Daily Prophet!!

COSTUMES

And then, of course, the Friends set. I’ve probably only seen about ten episodes of Friends, and all in the last three months, but it was still pretty cool. They were going to tear it down like they always do, but were convinced by Jay Leno (I swear, they mentioned that it was his idea on at least four separate occasions) to keep it dressed and up for the tour groups. It was super cool and we got some neat pictures. And Good Ol’ Felony Marx might have made away with a teeny tiny bit of the set. Or not. She probably didn’t. I didn’t say anything.

(I don’t know if I’m actually supposed to post these pictures…so we’ll just say they’re someone else’s and I’m just re-posting and captioning them…I actually did take some of these from Sam! – Thanks Sam!)

Where they football in a Thanksgiving episode (?).

Also where Full House was filmed!

Central Park where Phoebe couldn’t run.

The Central Perk set remains in the same condition it was after shooting the final episode!!

The staircase where Ross offers to take Rachel to Prom, but she’s already gone!!

Fox Lot

Fox doesn’t give group tours (probably because they are very smart and want to get their stuff done), but we had a connection who works in THE WRITERS’ ROOM FOR MODERN FAMILY.

…

THE WRITERS’ ROOM FOR MODERN FAMILY.

I bet you can guess that I was so FRICKIN’ EXCITED.

We tried to blend in with the crowd eating on the Commissary Lawn but, since we weren’t child stars or important-looking/good-looking LA people, and – oh yeah – we were all wide-eyed 20-somethings with Southern accents, we stuck out so hard.

Anthony came to pick us up and give us an unofficial tour. We walked by the HIMYM set where he pointed out where Jason Segel always takes his smoke breaks. Certain members of our group just about died. We saw their New York Street where, again, HIMYM films the exterior shots of MacLaren’s.

The Fox lot was cool because all of their sound stages have giant murals painted on the sides of them. Beautiful paintings of iconic shows and movies. They had an awesome Star Wars one, The Simpsons mural decorated another one, and then a gigantic Marilyn Monroe was plastered on another one. We walked by the development/writers’ office for The Simpsons which was SUPER cool. They had the big yellow hand holding the donut outside of their little house.

AND THEN Anthony escorted us to the motherload – the set of Modern Family!! It was undressed, since the writers are back but the actors are still on hiatus, but it was SO COOL.

Members of our group talked about how WB was all about saving money and A LOT of movie magic, but the set of Modern Family actually felt like a house. It was laid out (for the most part) just like it is on the show and, I admit, I may have gotten a little salty-eyed. IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

We were allowed one pictures – and that was of the mural of Cam & Mitch in Lily’s bedroom. The picture is SUPER awkward, but it still stands as proof that WE WERE THERE.

Awkwardest. Picture. Ever.

This visit also served as a sort of pick-me-up in that it confirmed that it is possible to make it big out in LA, even if you’re from UGA. Anthony got an internship with them one summer, was invited back to be a PA, and has worked his way up to being a writers’ assistant. Some shows allow the writers’ assistant, whose main job is to compile notes on plot lines and character interactions from discussions in the writers’ room and feed them to the person who will eventually write the script, to write one episode for the season. Fingers crossed that Anthony will continue climbing up that ladder!

Our group with our tourist-identifying SWAG from Anthony.

CBS Lot

We went to a filming of a new-ish TV Land sitcom called The Exes, starring UGA’s own Wayne Knight, 3rd Rock from the Sun’s David Alan Basche, Kelly Stables from Two and a Half Men, Kristen Johnston (also from 3^rd Rock), AND DONALD FAISON.

All I wanted to do when I saw him dancing in between takes on set was to 1. Start singing DuJour songs and 2. Jump on his back and yell, “EAGLEEEEE!!”

I got to do neither of those things.

The taping lasted FIVE HOURS, which they said it would. What I didn’t anticipate was the excruciating d*ckhole who was given a mic to “pump up the audience”. I don’t think this is the worst job in the world. I would have appreciated somebody who could have asked us trivia questions to keep us entertained or even just played upbeat music and let us sing to it to help the time go by. I think what did it for me was a combination of him taunting us with the prospect of Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs and then not giving them to us and his incredible ability to blatantly insult the most innocent people (precious old gay men and kind, quiet women). What the f*ck dude?? He would tell us to be quiet once it was time to film and then continue to whisper NOT FUNNY “jokes” into the microphone AFTER THEY YELLED ACTION.

What I’ve described to you can’t even do this man injustice enough. He was one hundred percent intolerable. He gave me a stress headache.

Other than that, the taping was actually really cool. It’s a multi-cam set-up and the actors were all super sweet. Wayne Knight came and gave us some words of advice after the show:

“This is the time really feel this business out before you decide you want to do it for the rest of your life. You have to really love it.”

Paraphrased, of course – but the advice seems to be echoed throughout everyone who has spoken to us. You have to really commit to this business. It’s long, hard, tiring, disappointing, etc. – but the pay-off is worth it if you can really do your research, commit the time, and do the work.

Plus, CBS is the home to Parks & Rec, so the prospect of being in the general vicinity of land that Amy Poehler has walked on made that terrible Emcee was almost bearable.

In class news…

We’ve had a couple of speakers come share their wisdom with us. Rusty Cundieff, director of Chappelle’s Show and The Wanda Sykes Show, writer/director/producer/actor – Fear of a Black Hat (Spinal Tap with Hip Hop), writer – Tales from the Hood. Really cool guy. He gave us some good advice about being just sneaky enough to get your work noticed and possibly produced without needing to wait for someone to make you famous.

“Writing is perhaps the easiest way to get into the business. If you sell one script, you’re already starting out at thousands of dollars that any actor or director wouldn’t make on their first try.” (paraphrased)

“Every person with a laptop is a screenwriter. Every person with a video camera is a director. Every waiter is an actor.”

And then we had an independent film maker – a friend of Prof. Smith’s – who attended Columbia for grad school. He just won a ton of awards for his first attempt at comedy, which I really enjoyed. Mr. Bear is still screening at festivals, so I don’t think it’s available to view online at all, but here’s the teaser trailer. His advice was sort of the same thing.

Other things:

We went to the ArcLight in Hollywood to see Beasts of the Southern Wild (not Magic Mike, I swear…) last Friday.

There was a sketch at the UCB show that made fun of how gaga everybody is over the super cineplex and their awesome snacks by giving one of the girls in the sketch a super racist boyfriend (who is also into kiddie porn) who works at ArcLight, meaning his flaws are made excusable since she gets free tickets and discount snacks. It was pretty awesome – HUGE theatres with reserved seating and a restaurant/bar in the theatre HOWEVER…I don’t plan on spending $16 to see any more movies there.

BUT Beasts was worth it. It’s a movie about a young girl named “Hush Puppy who lives with her daddy in The Bathtub” south of New Orleans. They go through “the big one” (Katrina) and have to deal with flooding, illness, taking hold of their destiny, and rebuilding the place they call home.

I’m sure there’s a lot of criticism you can read online about it, since there’s already Oscar buzz surfacing for it, but here’s my take: It was beautifully shot. Wretched and visceral at times – not glossy at all – but the camera work was smooth and invisible. I was completely submerged in the world. The camera glided along with the weeds and water. Having said that, the story saddened me so, so deeply that I became physically upset. It was so primal. Just seeing their conditions…I’m so far-removed as an upper-middle-class white twenty-something from metro-Atlanta that I just didn’t even know…man. There’s a scene where the young girls dance with female prostitutes and they all look so happy because all they have wanted was to be held, emotionally nourished, and cared for. Just made me well up. And then there was the metaphoric imagery that went along with Hush Puppy’s (Emma?) journey. You just have to see it. But you have to be in the mood to see it.

And then on top of everything, I had relatives who were strongly affected by The Storm. I drove through downtown New Orleans in November 2005, just a few months later, and it still had this feel of a cave that had been abandoned by a group of happy, hibernating bears that were woken up, were chased out of their safe haven, and made to turn feral. Okay, lame metaphor, but it was just eerie and I felt deeply, deeply saddened. Such a lively town to such desolate wreckage.

Anyway, on a lighter note, I checked out Hollywood Boulevard with some of the girls on our trip. We hung out mostly at the mall and bought some super tourist-y souvenirs. Overall, it was a fun day out. (Stole these all from Sam.)

Chinese Theatre

El Capital Theatre

Robot Man

Smurf & Puss in Boots

Good Ol’ SpongeBob

Shrek outside of Madame Tussaud’s.

Lucy outside of Madame Tussaud’s.

That night, we went out for Ashley’s friend’s 21^st in USC Land of LA. It took us until about 1 AM to take the Metro to even meet up with the Birthday Girl and get to a very Athens-y bar. Birthday Girl goes to MIT and was out with eight of her closest guy friends (there aren’t too many girls at MIT – go Birthday Girl), who are all interning out here in LA at Boeing. And two of them were football players! Smart? Athletic? In theory! Bring ‘em on!

At this moment, I would like a chance to say that I had a refresher course in how dumb guys really can be. I won’t just generalize and say ALL guys, because some of our Grady LA guys were out with us and behaved themselves (probably having to do with the fact that drinks were about $28…not really…and they were close to sober by 2 AM), but THESE guys were total tools. And they eventually apologized through Birthday Girl for being tools…but they didn’t deny it. And girls can be dumb too, but this was not the lesson I learned that Saturday night.

Now, I suspect that they must be very nice boys when they’re sober because they’re friends with the very cool Birthday Girl (who woke up on a LUCKILY very nice Town Car driver’s couch who had picked her up from sleeping slumped over, alone on a park bench the night before – THE MOST 21ST BIRTHDAY POINTS I CAN GIVE) and because I know their mommas raised them better than that. Having said that, dayuuuuum bois!!! Get your acts together!!

Let me just say that there was a stolen female blouse that lost a few buttons, a lap dance, hotel robes, massages, uninvited handfuls of titty, and stolen McDonald’s fries. We got home at 5 AM after a $37 cab ride. And I was mostly not amused.

This past Sunday we finally had Rosie’s Brunch at Oakwood. Your jalapeño-cheese and pizza bagels were delicious, Rosie, thank you.

Then we hit up Zuma Beach in Malibu for a few hours, about an hour fifteen out each way. The drive up & down PCH was beautiful and we finished the day with sushi on the 3^rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica. And I was a happy camper because I made friends with an eleven-year-old and played in the sand next to a seven-year-old and her little brother for about an hour. It was a great day.

Universal Studios on Sunday! Pumped.

…

I don’t have anything quippy to end on.

We’re Grown-Ups

Update to My LA To-Do List:

1. Hike up to the Hollywood sign.
2. Find where John Krasinski lives.
3. Stalk John Krasinski (ongoing).
4. See a UCB sketch show. - IT WAS AWESOME. SO PROUD OF KYLE. I also totally correctly guessed which sketch he wrote. Ten points for me. She-Claw 4 lyfe. 
5. Tour the Universal Lot.
6. Visit the Getty Museum.
7. Join a hippie drum circle on Venice Beach.
8. Find when/where The Mindy Project is shooting.
9. Force my way on set. (Read: Take out some PA bitches. Take their places.)
10. Bring the Pulaski Rendition of “Love Shack” to West Coast Karaoke. - See below for details. 
11. Have lunch at the Grove.
12. Go to the oldest bar in downtown LA, Cole’s.
13. This one’s a toughie – go out in Hollywood and not pay for a single drink.
14. See a midnight premiere.
15. Talk to a celebrity. But first I need to be able to recognize them…
16. Support the local artists and/or homeless people and buy a reasonably priced funny painting of an animals for my bathroom in Athens.

The Ha-Ha Pole.
Everybody takes their picture in front of it. Super LA.

Moving on –

For my family, I have found a friend in my fellow Polish Roommate from the Northeast. We’re semi-planning (I say “semi-” because money is scarce) a Polish Dinner for some of our friends. Kielbasa & mustard, rye bread, and pierogies (probably just Mrs. T’s), followed by a good night of poker. While I didn’t bring my kickass clay chips that say “Paige’s Casino”, Melanie brought hers and people out here actually know how to play cards. Even if it is just Texas Hold ‘Em…it’s a start. We can teach… Gonna make the Poles proud.

Speaking of the Polish People, I still have yet to gain any reconnaissance on the whereabouts of John Krasinski. We did see Bradley Cooper driving his ugly, expensive Mercedes Jeep-looking car yesterday (his production company is right up the road from our apartments), but still no John.

On another note, I think I’m beginning to realize that I have a type based on my celebrity crushes:

- Tall: John Krasinski is the shorter than his two older brothers at 6’3”. Jason Sudeikis is 6’1”.

-          Tall Hair: Just look at the pictures. I don’t know why, but it’s true.

-          Of Eastern European Descent: J. Kras is Polish and J. Suds is Lithuanian.

-          There are other real life things that I could add here – like glasses and dark eyebrows, but I got a little side-tracked on IMDB and Wikipedia, so I don’t really feel like listing them out here anymore. (Did you know that Johnny K was in line to play Captain America??? WHY WORLD WHY DIDN’T YOU PICK HIM?? I WOULD LOVE TO SEE HIM IN THAT PATRIOTIC COSTUME!!)

Back to things that are actually real-life and not stemmed from day-dreams –

Last Thursday, we got together a ton of Grady LA kids and invaded the Trivia Night at Robano’s that Harry hosts. We had to choose between two team names, “50 Shades of Grady” or “The Grady Bunch”, but TGB won out. 50 Shades next time.

Robano’s – Killer Patio

Okay, here’s the thing about trivia – I’m terrible at it. I mean, really. I don’t know any miscellaneous information. The only input I had all evening was correctly guessing the opening line to a sci-fi novel, “It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” (Do you know the answer?) But, we didn’t end up putting down what I said. Boo.

The only thing that made it better was the fact that each trivia round had a drink special. Hellz yeah $3 glasses of wine and $3 beer. The other night at Porn Star Karaoke, people were paying $8 for watered-down drinks (more on that later).

We didn’t win, or even come in the top three, but there was a group that had a perfect score at the end of the night. Nerds.

UGA Theatre in LA!
Melanie, Harry the Trivia Host, Paige

Right, so Porn Star Karaoke.

There’s this place called Sardo’s in Burbank that has karaoke a couple of nights a week, but Tuesday nights are PSK nights. What does that stand for, you may ask? Why are you assuming that I’m actually asking questions, you may ask? Do you think that I can’t read because you already stated what it stands for above, you may ask?

WELL.

PSK stands for Porn Star Karaoke which I thought was just a clever little name to draw the crowds in. Come be a little bit slutty and sing in front of your friends! Drink and have a good time!

WELL.

That is not the case.

Porn Star Karaoke is actually attended by porn stars. Like they have their own booth reserved and everything. And they give out free porn. There were a number of boys in our group who desperately wanted the DVDs. So, after some male nipples were flashed (I’m not saying any names…), I’m pretty sure the combined loot of our group was like 4 of the 10 prizes that were given out.

Here’s the thing – in LA, everybody’s a star. There were dudes up there giving perfect, extremely dedicated performances of Creed songs. And the girls took it super seriously. We weren’t in Athens any more…

It was super packed and a lot of our group ended up going home (the next day was an internship day) before anyone’s song was called.

I made sure to stay long enough to do mine though – I was going to get to sing at PSK, dammit!

I put in “Love Shack” for “50 Shades of Grady” to sing, but mostly everybody bailed. So, Angelique, Danny, and I did a pretty half-assed rendition of our native Athens anthem. I apologize to B-52’s, but we will redeem ourselves.

Then I got up there to sing some Gwen – “Just a Girl”. I got a couple of “Big Red” cat calls too, which was interesting. I still don’t really think of myself as being a redhead…because I’m not. But, I wish that someone would have at least offered to buy me a Red-Headed Slut. I paid $5 for a Tequila Sunrise that I was 92% sure was mostly Juicy Juice. Again, not in Ath-Town.

So that was PSK. Last Friday Night, Katy Perry took too many shots, but we also went to a bar called The Casting Office, right down the street from our apartment. The prices here were a little more bearable, or maybe it just seemed that way because they actually had specials.

I thank all the rich people in LA for upping all the prices because you all have real jobs and are rich and shit and can afford it. GTFO.

We had a great first night out as a group, even though a handful of us ended up walking the 1.6 miles back to Oakwood instead of taking a cab. It seemed like a really good idea…? I’m proud to say that I did not take off my Spice Girl Shoes once, the whole walk home. And my feet weren’t even sore or blistered the next day – BAM. And, for the record, Melanie earned the new nickname “Felony Marx” on the walk home. No details. Just call her that.

I had a few Burbank adventures last Saturday. I went to go get my headlight fixed so I can drive at night again without the fear of having to have a conversation with a scary LA cop. Oh yeah, and I didn’t want to pay for  FREAKING EXPENSIVE TICKET either. But, I took it to a Pep Boys over on Olive Ave and they actually fixed it for cheap and really quickly too. I recommend them.

While trying to find my way to Pep Boys, I thought I was hallucinating. About two blocks away, I saw a giant green and purple building on the horizon. Was that – was that SLIME?! AHHH YES!! THE NICKELODEON BURBANK OFFICES!! I took my car in and got everything settled, but then I got real with my mechanic, “Listen, can you call me when it’s ready? I’m going to go explore across the street.” “The Nickelodeon Buidlings?” “…Yeah.” “Yeah, that’s headquarters. We’ll give you a call.”

I creepily stalked the grounds as much as I could and took pictures from just about every angle possible. I am obsessed.

I had actually called the studio on that lot when I was hunting for internships to see if they could take me on. They were nice enough to let me send my resume, but they gave me some run-around answer like, they were shooting something from July to September and can only take people for the whole run of the show…or something. I don’t really remember, but I’m sure I’m in a loooooong line to become a Nicktern. It’s okay. I graduate in a year. And then you better believe I’m gonna be banging down their doors.

I seriously love Nickelodeon.

I also managed to find some “cheap” – $3.99 – gas in Burbank and topped off my tank, just so I wouldn’t be stuck with $4.11 gas when I had no choice. Got my oil changed at a Valvoline, and printed some pictures at a CVS.

CVS’s here? HUGE. Like a carpeted grocery store that sells liquor.

Thursdays are sleepy days for me. They’re class days reserved for guest speakers and/or other group activities, but we haven’t really had anything to do yet. Whenever I have an unstructured day, my body senses the downtime and will DEMAND that I nap excessively. It’s really terrible. I mean, it’s awesome – I love sleeping – but I haven’t gotten anything done in terms of working on my screenplay or watching Season 4 of Breaking Bad. I know those two to-do’s shouldn’t be in the same working category, but I mean really – I only have until July 15^th to watch Season 4.

ALSO –

WE HAVE ON DEMAND IN THE APARTMENT.

IT’S SO GREAT.

We’ve watched Horrible Bosses, Girls, Breaking Bad, and Crazy Stupid Love so far, and I plan on watching a TON more TV. I’m psyched. Pstyked. Psoked. Stoked.

We also started a beer cap collection, but the maid service threw it away on Monday when they came (hashtag judging), so we started over. We’ll just make sure to stash the collection before they come this week.

Too much recycling…

Last Sunday, we spent some time at Coffee Talks at the LA Film Festival. We went to the Director’s Talk where wisdom was dispensed from Catherine Hardwicke, Lawrence Kasdan, and Rian Johnson. Words of Wisdom from Kasdan, “Writing is just directing because you’ve made the movie over and over again in your head.” Still need to see Brick and even though Catherine Hardwicke directed Twilight, she seemed like a pretty intelligent lady.

And then they had a bunch of actors from SAG Indie at the Actor Coffee Talk: Jason Isaacs, Melanie Lynskey, and Illeana Douglas. Learned that the Union’s getting rid of residuals…that’s a little frickin’ scary. Jason, who plays Lucius Malfoy!!!, on acting like an “ass” (British accent) on set: “Acting is a childlike game. It’s make-believe. You have to act like an ass to feel loose so you can try and be fresh…You have to try to change the other person…It’s like a dance between two people.” Illeana said, “You’re there for the writer, director, cameramen…You’ve gotta suck it up and take the time they give you.”  And then Melanie (LOVE her in Away We Go), who has an adorable New Zealand accent, does “Creative Dream Work” so that she can make experiences and feelings more accessible to her (??).

Here’s my thing about the festival – 1. I think I would have enjoyed it more had I not been so sleepy and cold in the theatres, but 2. I really just couldn’t stand being around all these hobb-nobby people. Also, I have no idea how to spell “hob-nob”…maybe “knob”? Let’s see what The Internets have to say…Huh. Hobnob. I can dig.)

I came to realization that I don’t think I could ever make it out here. Everywhere I looked, strangers were talking to each other, exchanging cards and shaking hands. Blech. I overheard a few conversations and almost grabbed the nearest ICEE and tossed it on someone’s expensive head sunglasses.

I had a forced conversation with a young man at the festival which I was pretty sure was the straw that didn’t suck up the camel’s chocolate milk after he ate all his Cocoa Puffs.

His friendly friend, a festival volunteer, had taken a picture of our group and seemed interested in what sort of group we were. He asked me and I told him…and then he walked away. His friend with glasses and dark eyebrows (sound promising, right? Wrong.) just sort of awkwardly watched his friend walk away and then decided to make uninterested small talk with me.

“So are you like taking classes?”

“Yeah, our professor came out with us. We’re just taking a screenwriting class.”

“Oh, so you’re at like UCLA?”

“…No. Our professor from UGA came out with us. She just teaches it in the apartment complex.”

“Oh… … … …Have you seen any movies here yet?”

“Nope , but we went to the Directors’ and Actors’ Coffee Talks this morning. Pretty cool stuff.”

“Oh… … … …Cool. Do you have anything playing at the festival?”

“Uh-uh.”

“Oh… … … …I have a short film playing in the Short Films Series 4.”

“Oh, awesome! Congratulations! That’s really exciting!”

“Yeah… … … …I’m a grad student at UCLA, so… … … …”

“Great! That’s really awesome. We’ll be here next week, so we’ll catch it if we can.”

“Yeah… … … …”

“… … … …”

“… … … …”

And then the group left, so I just walked away.

Let me just clarify that he never looked at me once during this conversation. He just looked at other people walking by. Like, don’t talk to me if you don’t want to, dude. Especially if it’s just to tell me you have a film playing. Like, that’s great and all, but like…sound more enthused. And don’t try to mask it with small talk.

Blech.

I don’t know why I was so irritable, but Mel let me take her car back to the apartment. And then I spent $8.50 to do laundry. Hated it.

One of my favorite things I’ve done so far is all thanks to HELENA WHOM I LOVE. We went to the Downtown Independent Movie Theatre to see a movie in the “Cinneruption” series. The UCB-trained Live Prude Girls, Stevie and Milana, who host “Let’s Talk About Something More Interesting”, THE HANNAH HART who hosts “My Drunk Kitchen”, and Nick Rutherford from “Good Neighbor” were all given microphones and talked over the movie Jurassic Park. It was so great. Plus Helena and I totally got to cuddle.

1. I would go gay for Hannah Hart. 2. I GOT TO HUG HANNAH HART. And Milana. But I hadn’t seen their videos before Monday.

YouTube stars are such a weird anomaly. They’re TOTALLY normal people, but it’s still so, so weird to be in their presence. Like, I was totally starstruck. And then you have people like J. Biebs who became famous from becoming a YouTube sensation. It’s just bizarre. (AWPeople – every time I spell the word “bizarre”, I sing “Bizarre” from Masquerade in my head. Never fails.)

That’s all for now. More on work later.

Peace, love, and ice cream. Lots of ice cream. Cookies ‘N’ Cream ice cream.